tape-monkey: January 2008

From "http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tape+monkey" ;

"1. Tape monkey

Someone who works in IT operations whose primary role is starting and stopping backups.

"What the F*ck would you know??? you're only a Tape Monkey!!!!"

(grammatical errors corrected by yours truly)

The thing about tape monkeys (particularly old ones like me) is we tend to see things from the bottom-up, as opposed to the top-down. For me, being a tape monkey was a bit like serving an apprenticeship with an arch-mage. Sure, you're only allowed to sweep all the dead rats into a pile before they are hurled into the cauldron where they are mixed with the odd soupcon of mouse-wee, jellied eels, lutfisk, and punched-card chads by the Guv'nor, before he blows his eyebrows off because he forgot to put in a teaspoonful of minced earwax at the critical moment, but you are there to watch and learn.

The best bit about being a tape monkey is that you get to *meet*, *work*, and *learn* from the arch-mages. For me, being a tape monkey was one of the most lucky breaks I've ever had. And yes, I really did mount 800 BPI 7-track tapes onto vacuum-tensioned drives on an antiquated ICL 2903 as part of my initiation into the IT industry (in 1983 to be exact).

Starting at the very bottom in the industry gives you a wonderfully uncluttered view of what's going on. Decollating, trimming, and bursting a box of 4-part on a machine designed by a deranged Torquemada is an experience that fires your motivation. 'There's got to be a better way to earn a living! - I wanna go and work in the programming office - those guys over there don't have to get covered in carbon black all day' was probably my mantra for the first couple of months ...

Boy, do you have to try hard to get to that point tho'!

One day, I was allowed to actually operate the mainframe console - I could actually sit at the KEYBOARD!! Wow! It was like being at Mission Control in Houston - The mainframe filled the whole room, and the keyboard and monitor were actually *bolted* to the desk which formed part of the machine - I was on my way!

[fast-forward thru apprentice operator phase]

Eventually, The tape monkey progresses to the point of trainee junior mage on probation,and is allowed to learn and practice some of the craft, and a new tape monkey joins the school and starts on rat-sweeping duty in his place. How *intoxicating* is that first taste of power, that first tussle with the compiler, how humiliating to see 'too many errors, run aborted' displayed on the screen! But, it doesn't matter - you have been given a real Fisher-Price junior mages cloak, but, it's a *cloak* - and it's all that matters :)

I remember the day I became a 'trainee junior programmer' in the computer bureau where I started - the 'Chief Programmer' (yes, there was such a role in those days) came over to me and said "Welcome to the fold" - was I proud or what? (Thanks Eddie, I've *never* forgotten it!) - He was, at that time, the company's senior wizard, and had never even noticed me when I was a humble tape monkey, but on the day I was selected to learn the craft, he was there to learn from, he acknowledged me, and I had managed to join the outer-circle. Result!

As the years rolled by, I watched people blow their eyebrows off on numerous occasions, and managed to blow my own nose, eyebrows, ears, toes, and goodness knows what else off myself into the bargain - but I learned from their mistakes, and from my own. I guess at the end of the day, that's what really counts - screwing up, blowing your own leg off, having to stand up and say 'Er, sorry guys, yep, it was me that put the toe of aardvark in *before* the Algolian sun-tigers tooth had dissolved, not *after* it had dissolved' that you really, truly learn anything.

(Disclaimer: I am not a mage, even now, after all the years of blowing myself and other things up - There are so many super-arch-mages out there, I wouldn't even *dream* of applying such a label to myself - if anything, I feel that becoming a real true mage is still a distant dream - the more I study, and the more I learn, the more I realise just how much I am still a mere trainee junior wizard wearing my now somewhat tattered and dishevelled Fisher-Price junior play-wizards outfit)

However, I've seen some things that I didn't agree with, and when you can see a real, fully qualified wizard about to blow his own head off, you can't help but pipe up and say "But Sir! You can't put a Flanian pobble bead into the mixture now - You know what the third tome says" - and they say "Hush underling, you have no right to question my authority! I carry the staff of power and wisdom - You know nothing of such matters", only to see them blow their own earlobes off and destroy the stand, the retort, and the entire lab, in the process ... - It does start to make you wonder!

Yes, of course, there is always the choice - work for a mage who already has his own lab, a big pile of rats, and a mountain of pobble beads, ratchet screwdrivers, and earwax funded by venture mages - or stick your own neck out and go and build your own lab somewhere - the problem with the latter is that all of a sudden, you stop learning, and you stop watching other neophytes blowing limbs off - neither of which is easy!

Of course - there is a *third* way, and it's one that I don't think people have really cottoned on to yet (at least in the mainstream anyway) - and yes, it's 'collaboration' and 'sharing' - I'm not ashamed to learn from other people, and I try really hard to help out and inspire others. I think there is a new form of commerce waiting in the wings, and I'm going to call it "collaborative commerce" - and the real essence of it is sharing information - there is a great big networked cauldron out there, which we can all chuck dead rats and minced earwax into, and it's called Twitter - I know I keep banging on about it, but it is really like taking your tatty Fisher-Price Junior Play-Mage's Cloak off and starting again from scratch - there are a whole new set of wizards, witches, and assorted gremlins, trolls, and what-have-you in the big, global lab that we call Cyberspace, and it helps you put it all back in perspective. The mages and wizards that you used to revere may pale in to insignificance when you are allowed to start learning again from a whole new set of teachers.

Go on, go and set up an account at http://twitter.com and spend 30 mins looking into different wizards labs - you may be very pleasantly surprised! - And if you don't meet a mage straight away, you might bump into some other apprentices who share your interests, dreams, and motivations ....

[rewind]

tape-monkey

Friday 25 January 2008

What is this tape-monkey of which you speak?

Sunday 6 January 2008

Oops! I wasn't expecting that! giggle

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